I began to keep a journal because I caught myself too often re-learning lessons from the past — making the same mistakes in different ways. So, I started to keep track of what I was thinking. After a year of doing this, I’ve developed a system for recognizing patterns in my behavior. It is only now with this system that I’ve begun to truly understand myself.
In this process, your journal becomes a tool, one that allows you to see your unconscious self in action, the part of your brain that makes choices you didn’t agree to, often bad ones. It evades your control, at least for now.
If you don’t address your unconscious self, it will be an endless source of problems. But, if you learn how this half behaves, you will begin to see it appear in your daily life. You will see it, recognize it, and call it out.
The system is simple. It starts with writing down what’s on your mind, even if it doesn’t seem important. You don’t need to be contemplating life’s toughest problems to justify writing it down. Just give a boiled-down version of your current thoughts. Then, sometime later, go back and re-read what you wrote. That’s all it takes. The difficulty is not the writing itself, but how you use it later.
Journaling has become one of the best habits I’ve picked up in my adult life. I understand myself now like I never have before. This heightened self awareness has led to an increase in my self confidence and assurance in my values. Now, instead of letting the whim of others dictate what I do, I make more decisions for myself, and I’ve never been happier. Below, I’ve shared my process so that you too can take control of your life.
My Journaling tool
The Why
One of the greatest qualities of humans is their ability to pattern match. When you look back at what you’ve done, you’ll see patterns in the things you do. You may think you know yourself well, but writing forces confrontation. When you actively look back on your actions, instead of passively observing them as they happen, they take on a different light.
This first occured to me when I looked at how I handled my free time. I often felt like I never had enough time to do what I really wanted. I’m a college student, so this is fairly normal. But, I began to notice a pattern. School would start, I would frantically think about some side project and remain perpetually frustrated for not having time to work on it. But, when some free time would eventually come around… nothing happened. I began to realize that I was enamored by the idea of working on something else, not by actually doing it. Instead of focusing on my coursework, I’d think about something that sounded better. Except it wasn’t. A classic case of refusing to be content with what I have.
At a high level, I began to see this pattern. I was fooling myself into following a path that led to unhappiness. So, I started to write to find other ways I was tricking myself. I was surprised to see how many there were.
I had to start journaling. Life is difficult enough — we shouldn’t have to add more problems for ourselves. I knew with a journal I could get these patterns on paper. Now the question is, how do I begin to recognize the patterns?
The How
First I just write down what’s on my mind, consistently. I only describe the essence of the thought. I avoid making a detailed analysis — it’s unnecessary. This often feels dull and uninspiring. I already know all of these things, why am I wasting time to write it down? Later it will become more clear, so I have to remain patient.
Next, I have a system for re-reading what I’ve written. Weekly, I re-read that week’s entries. Every 2-3 months I go back and read my journals from those few months. Then every year I go and read my entries from that year.
It is in re-reading that I’ve found the most benefit from journaling. The patterns are easy to spot. If you become unhappy at some point, write about it. Sometime later, read back on the actions and thoughts that led you there. If you take time to understand the process that led to your unhappiness (this part is crucial), you will begin to recognize it as it occurs in your life. There are always telltale signs. This time, you can resist it, and take control.
Prior to this semester of college, I had outlined some goals for myself. After studying the way I feel and act, I knew these goals would make me happier if I stuck with them. On the first day of classes, as if on cue, I began to wonder about doing things that sounded better. My mind began running down a long, dark tunnel. But this time something was different. I knew that tunnel and what was at the end of it. I was able to stop, turn around, and return to the mission of completing the goals I had set out for myself.
I found that this would happen often. I’d catch myself down this tunnel and I’d have to turn around. But, after a while this became less frequent. These days, it hardly happens at all. In one small part of my life, I had successfully changed my behaviour.
The Medium
I prefer using a physical notebook, one small enough to carry around easily. Writing things down forces me to be brief. I only focus on the most important things. This makes reviewing and sifting through journals much easier. If I were to use a digital journal, the tendency would be to brain dump, writing everything that pops in my head. Sure, I can use search features, but then I’m only reviewing what I want to see. All those things that you forgot about are inaccessible because it’s too long to read all the way through.
Why People Fail to Keep a Journal
There is one fatal mistake that spells death for journaling. It’s simple to avoid, but you have to watch out for it. When you begin journaling, there will inevitably be a period of lapse where you will not journal at all. When you come back to your journal, the first instinct will be to “make up” all of the things you didn’t write. Do NOT do this. You will become overwhelmed with all the things to write, and then the next day you will be too tired to write about what’s happening now. Most people do not come back after this point. They have intermittent periods with massive journal entries and huge blanks in between.
When you find yourself returning to your journal after a period of neglect, write that day as if you had never left at all. In other words, just focus on writing what’s relevant at that moment, not what you missed. It’s much easier to get back on the wagon when the barrier is low. Accept what was lost and look forward.
Lessons Learned
The biggest problems in my life have been repeats. One mistake is forgivable, but making the same mistake again is much worse. What leads to this is a lack of self-honesty. I make some fake excuse in the moment, I trick myself. My unconscious self convinces me of something that’s not true. This is much easier than going through the mental effort of visualizing the reality of your actions.
When you read your thoughts on paper, you’re forced to confront the reality of what you’re doing. Then, once you recognize your actions for what they truly are, you write that down too. And you re-read that. You read it again and again until you’re finally able to instill the reality enough to make these fake excuses impossible. The truth will become so obvious that you won’t be able to see anything else. Only then will you begin to truly understand yourself.
Today, I am still learning how to use my journal — it hasn’t solved all of my problems, nor did I expect it to, but it’s helping.
As of the time of this writing, most people in the world are living in quarantine due to COVID-19. We are all struggling. We are forced to be at home, isolated, while we watch the world crumble around us. Yet, it’s unlikely that there will ever be another time in our lives where we are forced to be so free of worldly distractions. I cannot think of a better time to begin serious journaling. Use this time as a period of reflection. Events like these force us to re-evaluate what we value and, more importantly, whom we value. It is important we consider these things carefully, and to not forget them when things eventually return to normal.
Very sound advice Liam! Journaling changed the direction of my life in 1995 and I was amazed at the result of it. And I was well into my long journey. I really appreciate your sharing your journey. It will help those who can "hear" it.
I just read the article by the AI in the Guardian. It had a link to your blog so I came here and found this article. It is interesting the insight that you found from journaling. I guess I hadn't ever considered doing it for that purpose, and instead do other things, but now I think I will also do journaling. Your method is really good. I will use a calendar app to make sure I reread my entries.
Recently, I started doing mindfulness meditation. In the class, we are also learning different ways of examining how we change our lives based on our decisions. The teacher has given me a daily log where I write down what I have done all day. It was very helpful to see how my perceptions of what I do, and what I actually do, are very different. I'll bet journaling is similar, but on a long-term basis.